Ah, the Easter Egg hunt. It's a timeless tradition. It's for the kids, they say. It's a fun game, they say. It will make them laugh and smile, they say. THEY ARE WRONG. It never ends well, and the evidence is in the results.

The results include but are not limited to: tears, exclusion, blood, anger, fisticuffs, assault, battery and court dates. I've come up with a mathematical breakdown for the Easter Egg hunt. Me + my kids + other Adults (strangers) + their kids + competition + limited prizes = ALTERCATIONS

Because it's hard math, the altercations result is the LEAST of our problems. Those altercations can become physical. Parents act immature. Parents do and say things that they otherwise would not do or say in front of their kids to make sure their kid gets the most plastic eggs.

This morning on the Ethan and Lou show we shared a news story from two years ago about an Easter Egg Hunt held by the PEZ company in Orange, CT. That event featured a 4-year-old child who was bloodied in the rush for eggs, and another 2-year old-girl who was pushed in the mud. Here is a short video of the event in question:

If that is not enough for you to decide to do away with your Easter Egg hunt, maybe you need more visual aids:

I'm no child psychologist, but this does not look like a healthy emotional experience for the young ones. You have Barney Rubble grabbing his kid by the back of the shirt, and dragging him into position. You have the maniacal laughter of the adults mixed with the terrified screams of the children. It's an inferno of emotion, all very much likely to be overwhelming to the kids.

Here, we have a lady who strikes a man in full view of children.

Here is a news report from Tennessee about a lady who attacked a man with a hammer at an Easter Egg Hunt:

Here's another pleasant experience for the kids. I guess fighting for your very life is all part of the tradition:

Easter Egg hunts suck, plain and simple. I am not one of these people who thinks our kids should live in a bubble and never have their feelings hurt. I just want everyone to recognize this tradition for what it is. This is an excuse for parents to behave poorly on behalf of their kids.

This is a parental competition that has nothing to do with the kids. If you want to put on your Sunday best and exchange blows, I'm sure I can arrange an event. We can call it "Spring in the Ring: Polos and Punches." I'll probably make me a butt load of money, and we don't have to make the kids watch it. Just stop telling yourself you are doing these hunts for your kids, because you are not.

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