The Best of Bad Reviews: Waterbury

I love reading reviews on Yelp. All it takes is one screaming baby, or one inattentive waiter, and your business gets a horrible review. What I really love are creative bad reviews. Here are some funny bad reviews of local Waterbury establishments:

Sultan's Turkish Restaurant - Reviewed by Choo C. - "A belly dancer came out and started BLARING music on a tinny sound system, the volume was so high my date and I couldn't talk at all. I would have rather had seventeen mariachis at my table. At least mariachis don't have amps."  Seventeen mariachis! Haha!

La Tavola - Reviewed by Orlando B. -  "The typical bar crowd here is similar to Jersey Shore - I heard many people warn me about that - and when I looked - it was mostly true - a lot of older women trying to hit on guys and such" - Hey, Orlando, it's MY neighborhood. We love our older ladies on Highland Ave.

CoCo Key - Reviewed by Joe W. -  "The lone hotel counter person was in a deep, flirty conversation with a gentleman, I overheard that they had a "boo" in common that they knew - which kept their conversation going for quite some time.  Just great for them, but by now there was a 10 person line" Joe's door to his hotel room was tough to open, so he goes on to add "body-slamming the door open and closed was loud, but not as loud as the families partying in the halls, that must have been auditioning for Def Comedy Jam." Brilliant! It's a well-known fact that it is very common in Waterbury to know each others' boos.

Diorio's - Reviewed by Rob F. - "If I had waited only 20 minutes for my Buccatello Patriciana, instead of the actual more than an hour that we did experience, I would still say that this dish is absolutely and without any doubt, the worst plate of pasta I have ever tasted. This would be an easy dish to recreate at home: 1. Wait 48 minutes to get started.
2. Heat some fat - any old kind of grease - and add all the salt you have left in the cupboard. Add some red dye or maybe some paprika for coloring, just don't use tomato or someone might taste it. (At this point, check it to make sure no hint of flavor remains, otherwise, add salt.) 3. Toss with thick spaghetti, allow it to cool to just above room temperature, and then bring it to the table. Buono Appetito! Mangia!" There's nothing that I can add to make that review any better (or worse) Bravo Rob F.

Buffalo Wild Wings - Reviewed by Kaitlin b. - "We both got the Crispy Chicken Queso Wrap, the wrap was meh okay; but the best / comical part was the fries. 100% came from McDonald's !! Same cut, look, and taste. I swear BWW ran out, went across the street and got some from McDs. We asked the waitress and her face was pure shock (like sh*t we are caught look), she said "no, but we use the same brand."  McDonald's is right across the street from this BWW....hmmmmmmm.

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