‘Teaposy,’ Tea Sprouts a Flower Inside And Scares Me To Death

Teaposy is a fancy tea line that sprouts a flower inside when you make it. The company website describes a "teaposy moment" as:

The most uncommon tea experience you will enjoy.  May this experience bring you smiles and accompany you in the journey of discovering many ways to be happier

My wife was making one yesterday and it sparked a heated debate in our home, more on that later.

Directions are as follows:

1 - Gently place one teaposy blooming tea in a glass pot.

2 - Fill with boiling water; your awareness is required.

3 - Patience, perhaps five to ten minutes to bloom and steep.

4 - Smile as your tea reaches your desired strength.

5 - Repeat steps two and four for over two liters of delicious tea.

6 - Drink your ungodly creation with soulless eyes and a plastic smile.

7 - Stare at your husband while smearing pigs blood all over your body.

8 - Watch as he runs for his life.

Why does this tea scare me? Why couldn't I watch it bloom? I have no idea but it grossed me out and terrified me all at once. I could not believe that this existed and was taking place in my home, my home! Where I go to play with my things.

I obsessed over it until it turned into an actual argument. Erica thought I was making fun of her. I was not trying to put down her taste in tea or experiences, that was not my intent, but it is how it came across.

I didn't mean to make fun of her choices, but I could not rest until this was out of my house. I wanted to attack it with a machete and as I sit here, I live in fear that this was not the only one she purchased.