Apparently Trump and Biden Want to Fight — Who Would Win?

Well, since it's been made into a thing, let's contextualize this hypothetical throw-down. Here is what the two had to say about a fist fight, put together in a short and goofy piece from Fox News:

Then, as if one report about this topic wasn't enough, USA Today talked to some fighting experts, and most agree Trump would win. Some of the reasons given were: Trump fights dirty, Trump's ego works to his advantage, and Trump has knowledge of the fight game, having been involved with and around boxing most of his adult life.

Now, on to the Tale of the Tape!

Donald Trump AKA POTUS with the MOSTUS 

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 239 lbs (That's generous)

Age: 71

Reach: Unknown

Weakness: Hands of a baby

"Fightin"Joe Biden 

Height: 6'

Weight: 180

Age: 75

Weakness: Glass Jaw

The only thing AS good as a GREAT fight is a terrible one, and this would be a terrible fight. I don't mean to say it would be one sided. Trump has the height and weight advantage, and Biden's leaner build would likely give him a speed advantage. What I mean by a terrible fight is it would just be bad. You have two men in their 70s, who have likely never been in a fight before. The only punches that would probably connect would be "rabbit punches." The rest of the fight would be hilarious self-preservation, and open hand ear slaps.

It would be a record breaking money maker. Count me in.

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