I'm walking down the hall this morning, when I came upon an ungodly beast. There was a snake just cruising down the hall waiting to bite one of my co-workers. I grabbed a ruler and my partner Ethan, and we sprung into action. No one dies on my watch. Here's how the dramatic scene played out:

This is why we are here, SCANDALS AND ANIMALS, is what we do.

The only thing that would have been better is if the snake was facing indictment on racketeering charges. We would have had all of our bases covered.

Top 3 favorite snakes in order:

1 - King Cobra - Just cool looking

2 - Boa Constrictor - The Boa is a like a UFC Fighter who wants to take the fight to the ground as fast as possible.

3 - Garter snake - Not "Garden Snake" like I said in the video. These guys you can get up close and personal with and still go home at the end of the day and do the "wife and kid thing." You are not dealing with a mortality clock ticking away seconds after you are bit.

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