Lou Milano’s Costco Plan: Sausage & Baseball

According to USA Today Costco samples will return to all their stores in June but with some changes to keep people healthy during the COVID-19 pandemic. Costco chief financial officer Richard Galanti said:

We're going to start doing some things in mid-June on a slow rollout basis in sampling, I can't tell you anymore, but needless to say it’s not going to be where you go and just pick up an open sample with your fingers.

Ooh Dick, you have my interest with this big sample safety secret of yours!!!!!!!!!!!! What Richard means is they will put safety measures in place for the samples that you are not familiar with, they just don't know what they are yet. This is not likely a giant proprietary trade secret that they don't want to tell USA Today, they just don't know and that's OK, just say that.

While they kick the tires on the ideas, I have a few of my own and they are as follows.

Now I am solving safety problems for major corporations and putting minor league baseball players to work, many of whom have recently been furloughed. When is it that everyone sees that I am the best leadership option this country has?

Yes, there's a choking hazard if you have pitchers chucking sausage pieces down the throats of customers but if you look at realistically sausages are an inherit choking hazard, I can't solve all the problems at once.

Right now my focus is on the coronavirus which we have no "cure" or vaccine for but we do have a choking cure and it's called the 'Heimlich maneuver.' My proposal says; should Costco buy my baseball/sausage plan at considerable cost, they would have to have Heimlich experts on site and ready to dislodge meat hunks from the necks of customers.

Again, you are welcome Earth.