First, the good news: 3-time Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Eric Clapton is headlining this year's Greenwich Town Party, one of only a handful of shows he'll be playing this year. Now the bad news: unless you live or work in Greenwich, you can't buy tickets.

The Greenwich Town Party is an annual bash put on by, and for, the people of Greenwich. This year's party is on May 26 and entertainment include the legendary Clapton as well as the Tedeschi Trucks Band and the Preservation Hall Jazz Band. Tickets go on sale April 5, and you have to live or work in Greenwich to get on the list to buy them.

Clapton? Seriously, Greenwich? My town might be able to get a Clapton tribute band to play on the Green. However, we don't begrudge you a great day. Or the ungodly piles of money lying around in everyone's back yard that could be used to fund a Clapton concert. And we're not jealous in the least. (Especially since a bunch of the folks that sign my check will probably be there, our world HQ is in Greenwich. So, no offense, guys.)

Here's my theoretical Clapton set list, custom crafted for the Greenwich Town Party:

$1000 Bell Bottom Blues
I Bought the Sheriff
Let It Rain Money
It's In The Way That You Use Your 401K
Hello Old Rich Friend
Key To The Bank Vault
She's Waiting (For the Rolls to Pick Her Up)
Sunshine of Your Bucks

White Room In A 45,000 Square Foot Mansion
I've Got A Rock & Roll Heart (But Not A Big Enough Heart To Let You Poor Schlubs From Darien Into Our Party)

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