Couple’s ‘Intimacy’ Interrupted by the Homeowner Mowing His Own Lawn

If you're a homeowner, you probably take pride in the appearance of the inside and outside of your home.

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This means most weekends, at least for a few hours you'll be in the yard mowing the grass and working on other landscaping items. When I lives in a lawn neighborhood, I was out there every weekend, I'd mow, I'd weed whack, I'd blow leaves and I'd weed in an attempt to get the cleanest, greenest looking yard.

What I loved best was mowing super straight lines and then mowing again to create a Criss-cross effect. Sometimes, I'd even go over the yard three and four times using diagonal lines, it was very easy for me to get obsessive and carried away.

So, you could understand that I'd get upset when the kids would ride their bikes on the fresh cut grass minutes after I'd finished obsessing over my masterpiece. I worked all day out here, I'd shout and it took you ten seconds to ruin it.

Imagine your frustration in this scenario, you fire up the lawnmower with a smile and get working on your yard on a sunny day when all of the sudden you see two naked Canadians, just giving it to each other in your yard. You might be mad and try and stop them, they might throw rocks at you. That's exactly what happened on Tuesday.

Pause - It's worth noting that the story takes place in Canada, so everyone going forward is Canadian. I didn't want to offer that up immediately, it made it funnier to me that you thought just the couple having sex was Canadian. 

According to Newsweek, a man in Western Canada was mowing his lawn and spotted two people having sex on his property. Police say the incident occurred around 7 pm and the couple became angry with the homeowner for interrupting their sex session so they threw rocks at him.

The incident is under investigation.

I love me some sex but what are we doing here? Have we no limits? This is a man's lawn we are talking about. If he's any kind of a man he patrols his grass, stares and it and even photographs it. Now he'll never be able to shake the image of two chubby Canadian mushing their bits together in his yard.

How do I know they are chubby? I don't know really, it's a feeling. I think they are either chubby or rail thin, those are the kind of folks that make the beast with two backs in a strangers yard.

How dare you throw rocks at me? Those are my rocks, this is my yard. If anyone is going to throw my rocks at me, it's gonna be me.