I guess what Steven Seagal claims to practice is called Aikido.

Now that this is out of the way and I have satisfied all the Aikido enthusiasts, let's check out this video I was watching. Steven Seagal, in Russia, doing a hilarious, choreographed dance with some young men he no doubt paid to fall down a bunch:

Side splitting film there -- love it. After watching it, I got to thinking that maybe "Rex Kwon Do" of Napolean Dynamite fame could actually beat Steven Seagal in a fight. Let's see what Rex is all about:

Tale of the Tape:

Diedrich Bader AKA "Rex Kwon Do"

  • Height - 6'2" (You can find almost anything on the internet)
  • Weight - 187 (I think he's probably more like 205)
  • Reach - ??? (You can find ALMOST anything on the internet)
  • Discipline - Rex Kwon Do
  • Age - 52
  • Hometown - Alexandria, VA

Steven Seagal

  • Height - 6'4"
  • Weight - 265 (more like 300)
  • Reach - ???
  • Discipline - Aikido - SIDE BAR - Find Mats says Steven claims to have trained with the creator of Aikido but did not move to Japan until after the founders death.
  • Age - 67
  • Hometown - Lansing, MI

Diedrich is 15 years younger, is big but not so big it would make him slow and has American flag pants. Steven is old, heavy enough to make him slow PLUS he's full of the bologna. I gotta take the guy in the Red, White and Blue. I gotta take the guy that gets paychecks for pretending to know martial arts over the guy who pays kids to take falls on video in RUSSIA. Rex Kwan Do for the win.

THE REAL QUESTION? What video is funnier? The video of an actor in a motion picture classified as a comedy, playing a ridiculous character? OR, is it the video of the man is who dead serious about his "craft" and doing it at half speed to thunderous cheers? Given the circumstances, considering all factors, Steven Seagal gets the bigger laugh for loving the smell of his own Aikido farts.