This Saturday is the Kentucky Derby. Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky will be abuzz this weekend and fans who can't make the event will tune in to watch it everywhere. I get the first part, not the second.

If you go to the event in person, it's gotta be awesome. All you hear about are the weird traditions, the drinking, the giant party and the HATS, My God man, the hats. It sounds like an experience everyone should have in their lifetime.

On the other hand, few things are of less interest to me than watching this on TV. I don't know what it is about Americans and their love for watching cars or horses go in circles but there's a fascination there.

Unless you can recreate the Churchill Downs experience on a smaller scale at your home or you have a heavy wager on this event, why watch it? It's hours of waiting and then the climax is watching horse run in a circle for a minute.

Maybe I can use this as an opportunity. Rather than complain about what people like and wonder why they like it, I can capitalize on this "going in circles" thing we love in this country. I start my own "going in circles" race. I can have humans race many different species. I'll call it the "Great American Animal Chase."

This event is a pass for me on TV. One day, I'm going in person and I am going to overdress, over imbibe and step in a metric ton of dung.