They say social media is a waste of precious time but "they" don't have a radio show and "they" don't write pointless articles.

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Instagram and Tik Tok are show prep sources that just keep giving and giving and giving. My biggest problem with these apps is I don't have enough hours in the day to collect all of this material, so I have to prioritize.

Recently I saw a video from a woman named Joanne and getting in touch with her became priority #1. You see, Joanne was making insanely detailed arguments about how Steven Seagal stinks. Dunking on Seagal has always been a hobby of mine but Joanne took her game to the professional level.

Here is just one example of her work.

@geauxanne The Saga of Steven Seagal on his Seventy-First birthday. Part one. #stevenseagal #badmen #aikido #greenscreen #fyp ♬ original sound - Jo

I was able to get in touch with her through her Tik Tok @geauxanne and we arranged an interview. Below are some of the highlights of that chat on the I-95 Morning Show. 

Why the hate?

"First of all, I don't understand why anybody ever liked him. I find him absolutely fascinating, I have a psychology background and there is nobody better to practice on than Steven Frederick Segal." 

I learned this from watching your videos, is it true his name is not pronounced the way we think? 

"So, not it's actually pronounced Sea-GUL and he changed it to Su-GAL when he saw a Chagall exhibit at a museum and thought it would be cooler. That is actually from him, I think that is only one of the only truths he's ever spoken."

What are some things we don't know about Steven Seagal that we should know? 

"He is allegedly, allegedly, a prolific abuser of women and that means women on set, his wives. he actually married two women at the same time."

Was he married to (Actress) Kelly LeBrock?

"He was, that was his third wife. He had two before her and was married to two at the same time. So, to marry Kelly LeBrock, he had to divorce both of those women who were obviously crushed." 

Did you come up with the phrase pants s-----r? I heard you call him a pants s-----r. 

"I did. He allegedly soiled himself on set when the legendary Gene Lebell put him in a choke hold after he maintained or believes that he could not be choked out." 

Before we let Jo Anne go I requested that when she's done taking down Steven Seagal, that she please go after Nic Cage next. 

"Honestly, yes I'll do whoever everyone wants me to do unless I have a specific reason not to. I've heard not some not so great things about Nicolas Cage so yeah."

Listen to our entire interview with Joanne below.

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Steven Seagal Sucks Part 2

@geauxanne Steven Seagal Sucks, part 2 #greenscreen #stevenseagal #fyp #aikido ♬ original sound - Jo

There is something about unapologetic verbal beat-downs that I find so refreshing in this day and age. Everyone is so quick to tell you to rise above, take the high road or not to let negative people live rent free in your head but I miss saying "hey, this guys sucks." It's not that I think I am better than everyone, it's that I know I'm better than Seagal.

Things I think Steven Seagal might do:

  • Nude push-ups.
  • Giving unsolicited breathing exercise tips.
  • Asking people "Do you know who I am?"
  • Dying his pubers with "Just for Men."
  • Strongly encouraging or discouraging the consumption of wheat grass (these are equally bad).
  • Turning his ringtone volume 10.
  • Saying "I liked the book better than the movie."
  • Saying he doesn't have Facebook but using a dummy account.
  • Calling people Chief, pal, sweetheart, guy, sweetie, honey or my man.
  • Commenting on people's energy.

I'm 1000% prepared to retract and apologize to Steven as long as he stops pretending to beat people up.


Follow Joanne on Instagram @geauxgeau_or on Tik Tok @geauxanne

P.S. If you or someone you know is ridiculously funny or weird, get in touch with me. In 2023, content is a volume game and I can never have enough. We want to talk to people with wild perspectives, odd talents and funny looking heads. You could be the next Joanne so bring me your twisted and revolting ideas.

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Photo Credit: Aurora Photography
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