Cruise Line Asks Passengers to Kindly Stop Making Love to Pizza

According to Uproxxx.com, Norwegian Cruise Line has about had it with people "giving it" to their buffet items, specifically the pizza. Recent passengers aboard their cruises have been greeted with a letter that reads:

Due to incidents on previous sailings in which patrons engaged in uncouth behavior in the cafe, we feel it is our duty to remind out guests that pizza is for eating, not fornicating.
Sexual acts with our handcrafted pizzas can bring unintended health consequences and can pose a safety hazard for other passengers aboard our journey.
Lewd and/or sexual acts with our cuisines are not only frowned upon but are prohibited by maritime law.

They went on to say:

If you suffer sitophilia, or the sexual desire to fornicate with foods such as our pizzas, please inquire with one of our specialists in the medical bay below deck.

I gotta get my hands on one of these pizzas. My curiosity is at an all time high. I need to know what is so irresistible about these pizzas that people are pleasuring themselves with them. I mean you don't put this kind of letter out to everyone if this happens once. The suggestion here is that this is an ongoing problem. Those are some pretty pizzas my friend, they must be.

If I were tasked with putting out this memo to my customers it would have been shorter. It would have read: "Don't hump the pizza. Please and Thank You - Management"

Cruise Line Asks Passengers to Kindly Stop Making Love to Pizza — Prank or Truth?