Peak Inside Abandoned Scores Gentleman’s Club in New Haven

Don’t tell me you can’t learn anything on social media, bruh.

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Like today — I learned that New Haven used to have a Score’s Gentlemen’s Club. Then I found out it was ordered to be vacated in 2019. And just when I thought I knew everything, I learned that someone broke into the abandoned club in 2023 and filmed a short, fascinating video now living on TikTok — shoutout to @southernctexplorers.

@southernctexplorers One of the hidden gems of New Haven #fyp #urbex #urbanexploring #connecticut ♬ original sound - conner :P

Amazing. I only wish there was more. One viewer named Helene commented, "Cool video, I love seeing abandoned CT!" I agree, Helene. But again — I need more.

Still, that brief peek inside taught us a few things. For starters: lap dances were $25 a song? Twenty-five dollars?! I hope that came with a free sandwich and a tire rotation.

And the VIP room? $150 for 15 minutes. I don’t think I’m cheap, but... what are we even doing here? Get real. Fun fact about me: I’m not a big fan of “gentlemen’s clubs.” Not because I’m a religious missionary or some s--, I just don’t like being in a room where there’s a strong chance other dudes are in various states of arousal. That’s just a me thing.

Also, can we talk about the name “gentlemen’s club”? I get the rebranding effort, but let’s at least try to aim for some semblance of reality. Maybe call it:

• "Not the Worst Guys in the World Club"
• "Things Have Been Better Club"
• "I Feel Generally Very Unappreciated Club"

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I don’t know why I’m not in charge of naming things. At the very least, I know what not to do.