What do “normal” guys like?

Esquire.com just did a survey to figure out what “normal” guys like and here are some of the results:

NICE PIC HUH?  Yes all “NORMAL” guys like Lisa Ann

1)      A normal guy likes his job.  Does not love it.  Does not hate it.

2    Would have no desire going to a Coldplay concert.

3)      Watches sports but not obsessively

4)      Does not have trouble using a urinal right next to another man.

5)      Have less than 10 close friends, and probably one to four one of which is a woman.

6)      Have more than two drinks one or two nights a week.

7)      Says: “I love you” to his partner and or kids once a day.

8)      Has passed gas loudly in front of other people within the last month

Alright…here is the answer key,  at least mine……I know guys I work in a male dominated field, I’ve worked in many of them including construction, I’ve played sports.  I know dudes.

1)      All of my friends made an exhausting effort to find a field they love and get successful in it.  I DO know guys who hate their jobs but I don’t spend much time with them…they are boring.  All my friends pursued and conquered their dream job.

2)      I like Coldplay.  Call it what you want.  Play: “Green Eyes” for your girl off the album: “A rush of blood to the head” and I promise you even if her eyes are brown your getting laid.

3)      I know guys on both sides of this.  I tend to hang closer to the guys who don’t watch obsessively.  Nothing is worse than hanging with a dude that: MUST WATCH the game…you are not getting laid standing next to a dude in a Hakeem Nix jersey!  Plus my friends and I still know what’s going on and we’ve actually been in locker rooms.  A lot of my friends were college athletes and we know other athletes. And I’ve covered and hung with athletes.  Here’s the truth the athletes they don’t care about their fans.  Furthermore…if you put it in perspective you are a 30 plus year old man obsessing about a bunch of 20 something young men.  NOW HOW DO YOU FEEL?

4)      If it’s not an arena or baseball stadium it’s NOT that packed and I go out of my way to not stand next to another dude with my: “hang-down” out.

5)      I have 20 close friends at 34 years old.  10 guys from high school, 10 from my college and professional life.  I don’t talk to half of them but guys don’t.  When we see each other we pick up where we left off.  That is how you know a friend.  Plus guys don’t keep up communication that well.  Plus I come from a graduating class that had 180 people.  OLD school.  OH and the girl friend I have...NO ONE I HAVE EVER DATED HAS UNDERSTOOD....Not easy!

6)      Not fair.  Everyone I know is wasted every night.

7)      If you don’t tell your girl and your kids you love them at least 2 times a day each…YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG

8)      Farting…instant comedy!  If they love you they will laugh and understand.