With Passover and Easter Sunday in full swing, many of us travel to our beloved Stew Leonard's to prepare for the holidays.

Have you ever noticed that Stew Leonard's always seems to be crowded?

That's because Stew's is the "Disneyland of Grocery Stores." There's always something going on, like a singing chicken or a mooing cow. How about the Farm Fresh Five?

So with all that said, I bestoweth upon you:


  • 1

    You Shall Push the Button to Make the Cow Moo Regardless of Your Age. (You Shall Push it Twice if Your Teenage Child is With You)

  • 2

    You Shall "Go Out to Lunch" at Stew's Once Per Month by Taking Advantage of Every Free Yummy Food Sample Throughout the Store

  • 3

    You Shall Not Shop Counter-Clockwise Through the Store. You Must Proceed With the Flow, or You Shall Receive Nasty Looks.

  • 4

    You Shall Always Remember That the Fresh Mozzarella Balls are for Eating not for Playing Catch

  • 5

    You Must ALWAYS Quote the Non-Fat Yogurt Episode of Seinfeld When Eating Stew's Frozen Yogurt, Because if it was REALLY Yogurt, it Couldn't Possibly be THAT Good

  • 6

    You Shall Not Cut into an Aisle Unless You're Shopping for Only One Item and One Item ONLY

  • 7

    You Shall ALWAYS Grab a Small Handful of Stew's Homemade Potato Chips Just Before You Get to the Fried Food Zone

  • 8

    You Shall NEVER Stop to Watch the Singing Animals Unless You Are Accompanied by a Small Child

  • 9

    You Must Search for the Parking Space Closest to the Entrance on Sunday Afternoon by Waiting for a Car to Pull Out While You Block Others Searching for that Same Space, Creating Parking Lot Gridlock

  • 10

    You Shall Not Climb Over any Fences to Make Friends With the Animals in the Stew's Petting Zoo. They REALLY Don't Like That

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