Sharks Have Decided They Walk on Land Now, 2020 is Terrifying

If the year 2020 were a restaurant, it would be Chuck E. Cheese, It's terrifying, terrible and just won't stop being there. If COVID-19, murder hornets, quarantine, political/social unrest were not enough to handle, I give you walking sharks. According to Marine & Freshwater Research via the NY Post, scientists in Australia think they have found a new shark that can walk on land.

The walking sharks are reportedly members of the genus known as Hemiscyllium. This is not the first time that science has identified sharks with the ability to walk, but the most recent case, indicating this is a trend.

Researchers are clear to explain that the sharks don't travel far when walking on their fins. Co-author of the study, Mark Erdmann, had this to say about the walking sharks:

Instead of swimming around, these little bottom-dwelling sharks actually walk using their pectoral and pelvic fins, which makes it easier for them to poke their heads under coral and rocks as they look for small fish, snails and crustaceans to eat.

They are apparently small in size and appear mostly off the coast of Northern Australia, but c'mon, how long before they get iPhones and someone invites them to Miami? This is the kind of thing that we are not doing a good enough job with as a society.

We spend a butt-load of time arguing over politics, critiquing my articles on Facebook and generally "knowing everything." It's an entire society of s--- talking individuals with the answers to the world's problems.

We all know everything until we don't. We know squat when there are an army of sharks roaming our streets. They will be stealing our women/precious metals, ignoring street signs, waving guns in the air and disregarding the bartender at "last call."

It's time that, we as a country, we rally together and focus on the big picture, murderous land sharks. There is chum in the water and not a one of you is ready.