Reddit Names Connecticut NFL Team, Results are Hilarious and Sad

If CT residents have anything in common, it's that they are realistic about their state.

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There are very few people wearing rose colored glasses here. Folks are pretty realistic about the state, it's problems and how we're viewed by the rest of the country.

So, when a topic about a pro-football team came up on the CT Reddit group recently, I know it would be funny. The question was posed by a user that goes by Stamfordsterling who asked, "What would an NFL Team in CT be Named?"

Things started off promising, with a bit of pro-football history that I was unaware of. u/Shmahoog wrote "In the 1920s we had an NFL team called the Hartford Blues. They played in East Hartford right across the river from downtown Hartford."

Soon after the history lesson was over, the jokes began:

Cold_Situation_7803: "Undiagnosed depression, most likely."

My_roast_is_ruined: "The 95'ers"

jaysin1983: "The Abandoned Factories"

alyinCT: "The gas stations without pumps"

rieFPirate: "Lyme ticks !!!"

wrinklyweenus: "The Underwriters?"

ruiner9: "The Connecticut Mystics… with a super cool Wizard mascot."

Steel_Crown: "The Left Lane Blockers"

Old-Bedroom8464: "The War Machines. It's a historical fact and sounds cool."

jlevnhv: "Hartford Haters based on this sub"

arod0291: "Connecticut Colonials"

AntiCommieBond: "The Plainville Potholes"

Darthlysergis: "The Hedge Funds"

bouthie: "The Limited Liabilities or the Rough Ryders or maybe the Exclusions…"

CorporalCabbage: "The Passive Aggressives"

Proteinshake4: "Connecticut Complainers"

TacoSmutKing: "The Adjusters!"

chacifer: "The Hartford Hookers."

Livs4Life: "The Dunkin Dumpers"

Elaine_Benes_Lvr: "The CT Wasps"

TwoCanSee: "Connecticut River Rats."

AWaffleHouse: "New England Nutcrackers"

midmodmad: "The deer ticks"

flaflashr: "The Nutters"

the-crotch: "The Brass City Syringes"

runningboy93: "The Compromisers"

cyainanotherlifebro: "The New Haven Heroine Addicts"

favrion: "The Connecticut Sperm Whales, but since the Hartford Whalers are already a thing, maybe it would be the Connecticut Sperms."

Creed322: "S---hole shitters"

isthatagoose: "The Leathermen"

Not all of the suggestions were sad or funny, that last one is a really solid CT reference. This was a nod to the Leather Man who was a mysterious drifter. If you have the time, dive down that wormhole, it's worth it.

Many people suggested the "Colonials" and that means they've missed what happened in Danbury back in April of 2022. Western Connecticut State University had to abandoned their name "The Colonials" and their mascot "Colonial Chuck." The reason? It was representative of a violent time in American history. I wish I was joking but it's true.

A lot of people took a break from trying to come up with a name to mention former Governor John Rowland, attempting to bring the Patriots here many years ago. Patriots owner Robert Kraft used Rowland the entire state to get leverage in Foxbourough, MA. It was an embarrassment to Connecticut, and the people here haven't forgotten.

Another popular suggestion was "The Whalers" and there is your answer. You get to right a wrong and give the state a name they can be proud of. Seriously though, an NFL team here....OOOH that sounds wonderful.

Sorry for the crude mock-up, I just had to see what it would look like. Looks dope to me.