Police: Florida Man Broke, Entered, Sucked Toes

According the HuffPost, an unnamed Orlando, FL area man woke up on Christmas Eve to find a stranger sucking his toes. WKMG TV reported that the police say the victim asked the suspect what was going on and the man replied, he “was there to suck toes.”

The alleged then took a swipe at the victim's genital area according to authorities. The homeowner was able to fight the toe sucker off and run him out of the house but on the way out he allegedly smashed a window in the house and the victim's car windshield.

You can be "here to suck toes" if you are invited "here" and given consent, ya see. We have layers of issues here. It sounds a lot like the suspect was not invited in and was also not given the clear to suck them toes. This will be a Christmas not soon forgotten. Florida, you say!?

Police have yet to find the man in question. I'd look for the dude with a foot in his mouth.

• Florida, because of reasons
• Florida, a lawless swap
• Florida come for the sun, stay for the toe sucking
• Florida, let them toes know