New Milford Wal-Mart Paper Section Emptied Yesterday, Reddit Resp

A Reddit user posted a photo of empty paper shelves at the New Milford Wal-Mart yesterday (3/8/20). These types of photos have become increasingly more commonplace since the coronavirus has become a national concern/talking point. The responses always seem to be better on Reddit and here are my favorites from the u/reschuster47 post:

LuckyShenanigans

OK but, say a quarantine is 2 weeks: how much do you shit that you need a literal palate of toilet paper? My family of 4 usually goes through about a roll a week. So unless you and your entire family has horrific IBS, this is absurd.

eh_d

They are so velvety, I guess they'd be a great choice if you had to resort to wiping with leaves. Invasive species control via ass wiping!

spmahn

Quadraought

Tissue is the issue.

peppereth

Worked at that Walmart almost a decade ago as my first job. Believe me, it wouldn’t surprise me if some of the clientele were just learning about toilet paper.

TheDudeMaintains

I love me some Walmart, but there is definitely a nonzero amount of customers wearing s--- stained sweatpants in every location.

Spooky2000

If you need 100 rolls of tp for 2 week quarantine, you might have other issues than Corona virus...

thoughtfuldrinking

What’s the logic behind this? Endless recreational wiping during quarantine?

ashtree34

Ladies and Gentlemen, here on display is the last vestige of the suburban mouth breathers from the town of my birth. May their Ford Expeditions, unplanned subdivided McMansion lots, underfunded roads, angry Fox News-formed reactionary opinions, Costco-sized periphery church, agriculture-free "country living" and brutal lack of sidewalks outside of downtown for sixty square miles rest in peace. It's not your fault you were born on the wrong side of the Mason-Dixon line.

Alas, poor New Milford! I knew it, Reddit; a town of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; it hath borne me on its back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it.

I laughed, I cried, I peed, this was exceptional work today y'all. I don't know what else to say except that I am proud to have a forum so I can share this with the world. This was amazingly funny work, thank you to all the contributors and for those of you I missed, I didn't really miss you, you just didn't make me laugh.

BONUS LAUGH:

As if those internet responses were hilarious enough, this totally happened after we published this story:

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