Mailman Attacked in Waterbury in the Year’s First Urination Related Crime

According to the NewsTimes, a mailman was attacked in Waterbury by a man who accused him of taking a whiz near his property.

According to WFSB via the NewsTimes, 42-year-old, Daniel Alvardo, attacked 23-year-old mail carrier, Roshane Thompson. The dispute was over an alleged PP incident. Alvardo reportedly pointed a gun at Thompson and hit him in the head several times.

Ok, this completely violates Guy Code 416 section 2 of "The Man's Guide to Living Like a Man in a Man's World." That code states, and I quote:

When a man has to pee, he can pee anywhere outdoors assuming he covers his junkular region with shrubbery of any kind. This is often and most appropriately a bush or tree trunk. If the man's garbage is not visible to women and children this man is clear of any and all wrongdoing. Furthermore if the man happens to be taking a work pee break he is above the law and the world is his toilet.

This Alvardo fella is just plain wrong. He needs to re-read his paperwork, and get right with God. Plus, this mailman was just looking out for his health. If you hold it in we all know that you could get Uromycitisis and die.

So, the next time you feel the urge, Mr. Alvardo, to attack a man for peeing, read your literature, and think again, or you may wake a sleeping giant. Imagine hoards of angry men urinating on your front lawn. It's NOT a pretty picture.