Now, I'm not trying to stir up any controversy or create a mass panic, because there's got to be a simple explanation. But this summer, for the first time in my life, I actually got poison ivy.

See, if it was just me, I would say that maybe my luck ran out and my immunity lowered, and bam, I got hit with a case of this nasty, violent plant juice. But it's not just me! Over the last week, I've heard from three other people, who, by the way, never had poison ivy before. Well, they now have it, and they got it within the last few weeks.

So this got me thinking -- could this be a different kind of poison ivy? A mutant strand if you will, that is now preying on people like myself who are immune to the normal poison ivy that we find here in the Northeast?

Could this mutant strand have been brought into this country by attaching itself to imported plants? Or maybe Aliens that are harvesting this crop for their own needs? We may not be alone. Where are the Men in Black when you need them?

The only other possible scenario is that Russian operatives infiltrated this country years ago, and brought their own poison ivy plants with them. And now that Trump is in office, and the time is right, they are unleashing the urushiol oil so we can itch like crazy and be totally distracted while they plan total world domination. On the other hand, it just may have something to do with the last few winters being milder then normal.

I know all these theories are a stretch, but then how do you explain the recent "rash" of outbreaks? Especially with people who never got it before.

Heck, I was the kid who always had to go get the baseball when it when into the thick brush, because all my friends use to get poison ivy all the time.

Here's a look at my arm and my first case of Poison Ivy ever.
Here's a look at my arm and my first case of Poison Ivy ever.

I think an independent council should be appointed to investigate this Poison Ivy mystery, and maybe then we can get to the bottom of this.

Now for those of you who may be immune and haven't gotten the mutant Poison Ivy yet, or maybe you just have trouble telling which plant is Poison Ivy and which isn't, check out this instructional video from Land Designs Unlimited in Newtown.

Ethan and Lou Hilariously Explain How to Win MockStock Tickets:

More From WRKI and WINE