Greater Danbury’s ‘Nipple Head of the Weekend’ Goes To…
Over the weekend, I got the chance to meet two nipple heads.
Nipple # 1:
"Easy Rider" - I went to the gas station on Saturday morning to grab a cup of coffee while out running errands. I get out of the car, and a dude on his motorcycle pulls up BLASTING his music as loud as possible. I mean, super-loud music, which also happened to be a genre and artist I can not stand. If he had just turned the bike off as soon as he got there and went in, he would not have even registered on the nipple meter. Instead, he stayed there on the bike just looking around continuing to blast his s--t music to make certain that everyone noticed what a glorious human he was.
Nipple # 2:
"Line-cheating clown" - Sunday, I go to the Brookfield Shop Rite, grabbed the salad my wife instructed me to and went to the "8 Items or Less" isle. I figured I am safe here, being that I am 7 items under the max. As I am approaching the isle, a man with a cart full of goods scurries ahead of me and takes his place in line. I looked at his cart and said to myself, "This cannot be right." He had way too many items to be allowed in this line. The cashier said nothing and let him go about his business. I counted the items and was astonished to learn he had the b-lls to get into the "8 Items or less" isle with 22 items. If this is not a criminal act, it should be.
I could not decide which of these nipple heads was the nippliest. So, this morning on the Ethan and Lou Show, we asked the listeners to vote and here is what they came up with:
Congrats, greedy grocery store customer, YOU ARE THE NIPPLE HEAD OF THE WEEKEND!
P.S. For those who don't know Shop Rite also has a "15 Items or Less" isle and it's not OK for this guy to be in that line either.
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