This is my daughter, Vida. She is 1-year-and-some-change-old. She loves meal time, and she especially enjoys her rice and beans. She also seems to have the same genetic defect as her daddy — she does not know when to push the plate away. Your stomach has called the game, and yet, you soldier on.

This photo was taken the other night when she had run out of a very healthy portion of rice and beans. She started with the screaming,. Then, it was onto the angry, incoherent babbling. At the moment, her vocabulary consists of "uh-oh", "dadda", "mamma", "papa" and "diaper." Somehow, though, I still knew what she was saying.

She was angry in her delivery of said incoherent babble. This was the kind of anger that is unmistakable — it's the anger we only see a few times in our life. The kind where when someone expresses it to you, you feel as if you are in danger.

I felt my life was being threatened over the running out of beans. I was thankful in this moment that, for now, she has dexterity issues, and needs my help to get her out of the high chair. If these things were not true, I am certain she would have jumped out of that chair, grabbed a butter knife and stuck it in my giant head.

Kids are the best.

The comedy piece below is NSFW - Not safe for work.

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