The Evidence Shows: Nutmeg State Has a Bright Future for Young Lawyers
Connecticut has a real professional vibe about it.
There is something SO adult about telling people live in the Nutmeg State and nothing is more adult than having a lawyer. Connecticut is loaded with attorneys and there are plenty more on the way according to a new study conducted by the healthcare Law Firm Oberheiden P.C.
The study was conducted to determine which states have the most future lawyers and they made the process as simple as possible. Oberheiden looked at lawyer applications in each state and CT was one of the national leaders. The Constitution State, currently ranks 5th for most lawyer applications filed in the U.S. Connecticut residents file 23.99 applications per 100,000 people.
1 - Washington D.C.
2. New York
4. New Jersey
The list was not the only interesting data point, the research also revealed:
- America currently has 1.3 million attorneys
- Washington D.C. leads the list by a lot, having four times more applicants than New York does. D.C. has 129.4 applications per 100,000 while New York has 29.15 per 100,000.
What can we gather from these numbers? Our political leaders are such thieves and liars that they require more attorneys than the rest of us. It also tells me CT is about to get more litigious than it already was. These folks are not just going to become law professionals and just sit on their hands, they're going to want to do some lawyer crap.
I've have more personal experience with lawyers, than I'd like. If you need one, you're usually about to get screwed out of something or have your life upended. I've actually made friends with some wonderful lawyers over the past decade and they are interesting people. I've learned attorneys love to use the "F" word and they have this obnoxious little habit of saying "interesting" a lot.
What is annoying about their use of "interesting" is, it is usually in response to the worst thing that has ever happened in you. You could tell them that your Great uncle killed your pet turtle and they'll find that "interesting." They'll say, "interesting let's keep that in our back pocket in case we need it later." I'm glad you find turtle murder to be a fascinating bargaining chip but I was actually looking for a hug.
Lawyers are also huge fans of lawyer jokes like:
1. Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
2. Q: What do you call 5,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start
3. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
4. Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick the bill up his ass.
5. Q: Why do lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep the f---skin from crawling up their chins.
6. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of sh--?
A: The bucket
7. Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer
8. Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
9. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
10. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
11. Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
12. Q: What is the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
I must be turning into my father because I actually laughed at a few of those. I don't know what it is about getting older? Aging actually diminishes your laughter threshold and I'm reaching the point of laughing at re-runs of "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
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