The 10 Commandments for Driving On I-684
Ask any driver who does it, and they will tell you that commuting to and from work on I-684 takes highly specialized driving skills.
If you work in NYC or its immediate suburbs, and you're not taking the train to work, chances are if you live in western Connecticut or parts of Putnam, Dutchess, and Westchester counties, you're driving to work via I-684. Everyone who chooses this particular route should be aware of one basic fact, the 65 mph speed limit is only a suggestion.
With all of that said, I have analyzed the input from all of you veteran commuters who travel I-684 daily to create, The 10 Commandments For Driving On I-684.
If you don't want to be screaming to yourself in the car while pounding on your steering wheel during your commute in heavy traffic on I-684 during morning rush hour, our experts say to either begin your 684 commute before 6:30 am or after 8:30 am. Between 6:30 and 8:30 is when the drive down 684 has the potential to make your head explode.
There's nothing like being collateral damage from the nitwit in front of you who's decided to spray his windshield while going 70mph. Some of the newer vehicles seem to have nozzles like fire hoses that fire off windshield washer fluid that could put out a bonfire.
This is one of my strongest pet peeves! Who do you think you are jerky that you can speed past everybody waiting to get off 684 onto I-85 East and then put your right turn signal on and weasel your way in front of me. I'll flip you off and then roll down my window and yell out obscenities that would make your grandpa's toenails curl up!
The following is your speed guide for commuting on 684:
- Extreme Left Passing Lane - 80mph
- Center Lane - 75mph
- Extreme Right Cruising Lane - 70mph
If you see a Trooper who's pulled someone over on the other side of 684, there is absolutely no reason to slow down because he's on the OTHER SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY! Thanks to "Frankie the Critic" for this one.
DUDE! You can't text while you're driving on a highly specialized 6 lane highway like 684 while you're going 60 mph in the passing lane or if you're trying to get into the right lane attempting to merge onto the Sawmill River Parkway. Nothing can be as important as avoiding a tragic near-death experience because your wife is texting you her shopping list and then going back and forth about whether you should buy regular or free-range chicken thighs.
Thanks to listener, Kevin Doherty, for this one. He tells us that NY State Troopers love to pull over Connecticut vehicles with tinted windows. His court date is scheduled for November.
Because it seems to be an unwritten rule on 684 to travel at 25mph over the speed limit, you need to be paying close attention and focused. Not paying attention could turn you into a "Panic Breaker!" For example, this could happen when you look up from taking a bite of your sausage, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich and you see brake lights about a mile up the road. A "Panic Breaker" is a driver who overreacts and jams on his or her brakes possibly causing the commuter behind you to turn his vehicle into an accordion. Learning how to slow down your vehicle without using your breaks is an advanced driving technique worth learning.
Just because you may be driving a Tesla or a Mercedes or maybe an Audi, Volvo or BMW, it doesn't give you license to drive down the shoulder of 684 during a massive traffic jam to get to your important meeting on time. Next time leave the house earlier numbnuts!
Thanks to Brooke, one of our listeners who suggested taking an alternate route if you don't want to put up with the insane frenetic morning rush hour traffic on I-684. Brooke sent me this suggestion:
Though shall taketh old Route 22 in its' sted.
Brooke then went on to write:
Thou shall flip off the numbnuts on 684 as thou douth pass their sorry asses by on Route 22.
This commandment comes courtesy of our longtime morning show listener, Frankie the Critic who is a longstanding member of the I-684 commuter's club. First of all racing through the 684 Brewster rest area heading north or the Bedford rest area heading south at 60mph is a nasty accident just waiting to happen. Plus moronic driving actions like that make the jam up even worse.