i95’s Business Manager: ‘Yes, We DO Need an Office Monkey!’

Yes, we do need an office Monkey!

After reading Lou’s post the other day, I started thinking about the benefits of having a monkey in our office. I think it’s a brilliant idea! Not only would it be nice to have a furry little fellow to pet and play with while we work, we could also put it to work.  As Lou said, they are super smart and can handle at least some of the simple, mundane tasks we all have to do here in the office.

So, I’m thinking the smaller the better, like the one that was featured in the sitcom, Friends.   Marcel was a white-faced Capuchin monkey that was just adorable.  We really don’t need a giant ape walking around scaring our listeners who come to pick up their prize winnings every day.  And besides, the poop would be much smaller for Lou to clean up. (Yes, Lou – this was your idea so…)

As the Business Manager here, I have a handle on office expenses and am sure I can offer some creative ways to fund our office monkey like:

1. Buying only 1-ply toilet paper
2. Keeping the heat at 60 degrees (the personal heaters would mysteriously disappear of course)
3. Use only half the office lighting required
4. Institute a BYOS policy (bring your own office supplies)
5. Petty cash for banana purchasing

There are so many more ways I can think of.  The only thing we would obviously need is approval from our new boss, Shut-It-Down-Mike.  He is definitely a solutions-oriented manager – very smart, and an all-around nice guy.  I have confidence that we can convince him that this is a good idea.

Let’s hope for the best!

Stay tuned…