Reddit Says It's Difficult for Newcomers to Make Friends in CT

Recently, I went out for drinks in Danbury with some of my oldest friends, a group I'd not seen in a long time.

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It was refreshing to get out of the house, and be in the company of people I love. It had been a really long time since I've done something without my wife or my kids.

While we were out, the conversation shifted to how COVID-19 has impacted us in ways that were not immediately recognizable. I was telling the guys how relieved I was that they wanted to come out.

We all agreed that COVID-19 had altered our perception of a night on the town. Why go out when you can stay home? We are all family men, most of us have kids and it's so easy to choose to stay home. So, that is precisely what we've chosen to do, time and again.

It was interesting to hear that their experience mirrored mine. They feel like going out is a great idea on paper, until the time comes, and then we want nothing to do with it. We enjoyed our night out and decided it was time to make this a regular thing. It was time to get back on the horse, time to look at social activities for what they are, fun.

The COVID-19 pandemic got all of us so used to being home and finding ways to pass the time. I got so used to it that going out has some level of anxiety attached to it that wasn't there before.

My lack of social activity was starting to border on being unhealthy. Thankfully, my solution was right in front of my face. I needed to make it a priority, and I was lucky enough to be able to call really good friends. These are people I care about, some of which I've known my whole life. That night out was completely worth it, even if beers are double what they used to cost us.

But, what if you are new to a place? In this case, what if you are new to CT? That cannot be an easy position to be in. Where do you go? What do you do?

One person came right out and asked that question on the CT Reddit page (brave). The person's user name is significantslip420 and they wrote "Just moved to from South Carolina. Now how the f--- do I make friends as an adult?" Some of the answers were helpful, others were funny and many of them highlighted a not-so friendly side of the State of CT.

Here are some of the responses that got my attention:

Invisibleteeth: "Challenge a random passerby to a duel. Not to the death. But you'll be fast friends with the shared experience. Although going by your old posts you'll have enough creepers hitting you up."

Stand4somethingnow: "You're in CT dude. Lol. Land of the introverted. Didn't anyone warn you?"

wesd004: "I have a bunch of CT friends all over the state and we play Xbox together and meet up at different spots every few months. Shoot me your G/T if you want to get in on the next game night."

yankeeinparadise: "Where are you located? There are hiking opportunities through Audubon. Adult cooking classes, etc."

Itsmoney05: "Crossfit, it's not a cult, but it is a community."

stinstankstunkii: "Good luck. I have lived in CT all my life and have like no friends.."

ComprehensiveSwim722: "A decade in. SO hard to make friends in CT. It’s odd."

vferero14: "31 M here, dm me or post again when you have uncovered this secret because I would love an answer to this question."

WannabeGroundhog: "Just moved here from Florida, we should start a support group."

CHERK-FLOKI: "Friends as an adult? What's that?"

bigfattiediesbaby: "Kick a guy in the nuts and say “we’re friends now!” Guys love that!"

One-Awareness5818: "Check your towns park and rec department for spring sports."

Eanae: "Bumble BFF does fine for women in CT (33F) depending on your hobbies. You’ll find a lot of girls who think brunch and mimosas are all there is to life. Nerdy girls are few and far between and I’ve struggled to find nerdy girls to connect with. Made 3 friends in about a year of using BFF. Lots of out doorsy hiking types."

BuffyAnneBoleyn: "I’m also 31F and have lived in CT most of my life. I’ve heard of people having success on Bumblebff but I’ve never used it myself. I’m happy to chat in a DM if you’re open to suggestions and cool places to go. Or just friendship!"

Dbear63: "You could start by cutting down on swearing."

That last suggestion is easily the worst I saw in the entire thread. If you don't swear, I don't trust you one bit and I'm probably not going to want to hangout you. You have to be you significantslip420.

Let those F-Bombs fly, let the S-grenades explode and spray them D-bullets at will. Hell, I'm even down for using the C-spot, once a year. If I hear you out on the streets with that foul mouth of yours, I'll probably make it a point to introduce myself and then we'll be friends.

Connecticut can be a cold-shoulder kind of place, and in a lot of ways, some of us like that. I don't get caught in small talk with strangers about the weather which is great. However, it's not easy to break the ice with others if there is literally no opportunity to.

If you are a person from a place like South Carolina, you may be used to having tons of opportunities to make friends. Then, you move to CT and realize that is not the case.

P.S. Raise your hand if you've ever asked someone why they asked you a question. For example, has a stranger ever asked you where you are from, and you responded, "why?"