Connecticut City Snags Spot in Top 15 Rattiest Cities in America—What You Need to Know!
Hold onto your cheese, Connecticut! We’ve just been ranked the 13th most rat-infested city in America according to Orkin’s latest report. Now, I know what you’re thinking: "Thirteenth? That’s not so bad!" But let’s face it, if we’re going to be known for anything, why not aim for the top? After all, Chicago has been holding the crown for a decade now, and it’s time for us to step up our game!\
In the grand scheme of things, our beloved state is just behind cities like Los Angeles (#2) and New York (#3), both of which have held strong in the top three for several years. And while I’ll admit that the sight of a rat dodging traffic in Times Square is impressive, I believe we have what it takes to give them a run for their money.
Top 20 Rattiest Cities in America
1. Chicago, Ill.
2. Los Angeles, Calif.
3. New York, N.Y.
4. San Francisco, Calif.
5. Washington, D.C.
6. Denver, Colo.
7. Philadelphia, Pa.
8. Detroit, Mich.
9. Baltimore, Md.
10. Cleveland, Ohio
11. Minneapolis, Minn.
12. Boston, Mass.
13. Hartford, Conn.
14. Seattle, Wash.
15. Indianapolis, Ind.
16. Atlanta, Ga.
17. Columbus, Ohio
18. San Diego, Calif.
19. Milwaukee, Wis.
20. Sacramento, Calif.
So, how do we elevate our status to #1? Well, I propose a bold strategy: cheese. Hear me out! What if we partner with local cheese legends like Arethusa Farm in Litchfield? We could spread their delicious cheese all over Hartford! Imagine a cheese festival that draws in rats from near and far, lured by the promise of a gourmet feast. “Come for the cheese, stay for the scientific experiments!”
With our newfound rat population, we could embark on a mission to create “super rats.” Picture it: rats that can juggle, solve puzzles, or even do 1980s style karate! Before you know it, you might just find Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles standing next to you at Armstrong Rockwell Fine Jewelry, discussing his latest purchase.
Sure, we could spend our time rat-proofing our homes, but where’s the fun in that? Instead, let’s embrace the chaos, roll out the cheese, and see if we can turn our 13th place ranking into something legendary. Who knows? With a little creativity and a lot of cheese, we might just out-rat the big cities.
So, let’s raise our cheese platters to Connecticut's ambition: next year, we’re gunning for that #1 spot. Because when it comes to rodents, why settle for being average when you can aim for greatness?
Let’s get to work and show the nation what we’re made of! Rat s---!
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