Carey/Milano For Presidents 2020
Feeling down about the 2020 election? Do you feel like the two candidates for President in 2020 do not represent your opinions and ideas? Do you want to "Make America Fun Again?"
Have we got a ticket for you, write your vote in for Ethan Carey and Lou Milano 2020. The initiatives they will present are either unnecessary or impossible which makes them fantastic politicians. What do these CT candidates stand for? Good question, this is their platform:
- Free swimming pools for everyone. We are not sure how we are going to pay for this but that never stopped Bernie Sanders.
- Federal ban on pancakes, cause F--- pancakes.
- Wet and wild Wednesday's will be observed as a National Holiday every Wednesday in the calendar year. You get the day off from work and you are encouraged to get both wet and wild.
- We will declassify all UFO files, ALL UFO files.
- We will insist that Canada, our neighbors to the North stop calling their ham bacon. If they do not we will invade Canada and take their precious metals.
- Lottery sales will be banned at all grocery and convenience stores. Instead the lottery agencies in each state will have to open their own drive up huts. I'm tired of standing behind gamblers in line at the gas station waiting to buy a cup of coffee.
- We will observe a Facebook Friday freeze every single Friday. Anyone caught using Facebook on Friday's will be subject to a $1,000 fine.
If you want to submit a write in vote for Carey/Milano 2020 in the State of CT, this is the official form you will need. \
P.S. Since beginning this article, I've changed my mind. We are now running for Presidents of the United States of America. There will be no vice.