STORM OF THE CENTURY!!!!!!!!! PANIC!

Here it is!  OH MY GOD!  The storm of the century!  We are going to get anywhere from 3 inches to a foot of snow and asteroids will rain down on our heads!  Here are my surefire survival tips for this storm.

#1 - Light your hair on fire, run out of your house with your arms waving in the air and scream: "The end is near!  My God man, the end is near!"

#2 - Dip your blazing head in the snow to put out the fire....you are now bald but safe.

#3 - Go to the grocery store and buy all the water, bread and milk that you can.

#4 - Go home.

#5 - Get naked and rub whole milk all over your body.  Don't ask stupid questions like "why?"  It's for your own good.

#6 - Drink as much water as possible...you need to hydrate.

#7 - Duct tape 4 loaves of wonder bread to your head this way if an asteroid hits you it will bounce off.

#8 - Jam what's left of the Wonder bread into your mattress.   No reason to waste it...free mattress pad.

#9 - Make a 2 years worth of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  You won't have time to cook when your running from the succubus and rescuing your loved ones from the evil alien trolls that will inevitably descend upon Earth over the next few days.

#10 - Find a reasonably sound structure and go to the basement, hunker down and pray your beans off.  If all goes well you can leave that basement in 2 to 3 years.