Single New Yorker Embarks on Hairy Mission to Find Love
You can apply a lot of love cliches to this story and I plan to. I'll use them in lieu of sharing an opinion, that some may find offensive.
I plan on saying things like "to each their own" and "there is someone for everyone" or "who am I?" Last month, a person from Long Island was looking to find a long-lost mate and went to Craigslist to begin the search. On December 17, 2022, the individual in question posted the following on "Missed Connections":
"You are a natural unshaven pits woman with the greatest natural pheromones…… you never wore perfume or deodorants and loved that I fully enjoyed exploring your clean natural body from head to your pretty toes. Hope we can connect again…."
I am big into pheromones bro, big. I believe strongly that chemical processes play a big role in how/why we are attracted to another person. Like take my wife and I for instance.
She's the one on the left. If I am being honest with myself and all of you, I know there is no reason for this woman to be attracted to me. But my pheromones must connect with the whiff center of her brain. Something about my stank makes this woman believe I am a good match. My pheromones have tricked her into thinking I'm worth it. In case you're not familiar with what I am talking about with the pheromone thing, here is the definition according to Better Help.
"Scientists in osmology have determined that individuals in the same species are attracted to each other through chemical messengers. These chemicals, pheromones, stimulate sexual arousal, desire, hormone levels, and even fertility when released. Pheromones are detected through smell and are produced through sweat, saliva, and urine."
She digs my sweat, is a sucker for my saliva and can't get enough of my urine. That is all there is to say about that. As for the hairy thing, to each their own, if that is what they are into who am I to judge?
We spoke about this briefly on the Ethan, Lou & Large Dave Show on Tuesday (1/10/23). The conversation transitioned from hair, to the feet which offered me the opportunity to tell people about S.E.T.S. or Second Elongated Toe Syndrome, listen below.
P.S. The Craigslist post was from Long Island, NY. So, if you're the hairy bird in question, reach out and we'll see if we can't connect you two crazy kids.
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Do you like talking about Long Island? The absurd? Pheromones? If so, check out the Ethan, Lou & Large Dave Podcast on Apple and Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the same show we do on the radio but with limited commercials and no music. Or, listen live by streaming the show on the I-95 Rock Mobile app, or tune into I-95 (95.1FM).
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