Single New Yorker Embarks on Hairy Mission to Find Love

You can apply a lot of love cliches to this story and I plan to. I'll use them in lieu of sharing an opinion, that some may find offensive.

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I plan on saying things like "to each their own" and "there is someone for everyone" or "who am I?" Last month, a person from Long Island was looking to find a long-lost mate and went to Craigslist to begin the search. On December 17, 2022, the individual in question posted the following on "Missed Connections":

"You are a natural unshaven pits woman with the greatest natural pheromones…… you never wore perfume or deodorants and loved that I fully enjoyed exploring your clean natural body from head to your pretty toes. Hope we can connect again…."

I am big into pheromones bro, big. I believe strongly that chemical processes play a big role in how/why we are attracted to another person. Like take my wife and I for instance.

Joe P

She's the one on the left. If I am being honest with myself and all of you, I know there is no reason for this woman to be attracted to me. But my pheromones must connect with the whiff center of her brain. Something about my stank makes this woman believe I am a good match. My pheromones have tricked her into thinking I'm worth it. In case you're not familiar with what I am talking about with the pheromone thing, here is the definition according to Better Help.

Pheromone Attraction

"Scientists in osmology have determined that individuals in the same species are attracted to each other through chemical messengers. These chemicals, pheromones, stimulate sexual arousal, desire, hormone levels, and even fertility when released. Pheromones are detected through smell and are produced through sweat, saliva, and urine."

She digs my sweat, is a sucker for my saliva and can't get enough of my urine. That is all there is to say about that. As for the hairy thing, to each their own, if that is what they are into who am I to judge?

We spoke about this briefly on the Ethan, Lou & Large Dave Show on Tuesday (1/10/23). The conversation transitioned from hair, to the feet which offered me the opportunity to tell people about S.E.T.S. or Second Elongated Toe Syndrome, listen below.

P.S. The Craigslist post was from Long Island, NY. So, if you're the hairy bird in question, reach out and we'll see if we can't connect you two crazy kids.

5 Signs That Prove New York is Outrageously Funny

I grew up in New York State, and I think it contributed to my sense of humor. Recently I took a trip to the Watkins Glen, NY area with my wife and children. We had a lot of laughs and some of those giggles came right from the signs we saw in the Empire State. These are five of the signs that caught our attention, and proved New York is just a funny place.

Vacant Putnam Lake Properties

Putnam Lake is a Hamlet of the Town of Patterson In Putnam County, NY. Originally, the community was a vacation getaway for city folks who wanted Lake property in the country. Today, it’s not any kind of weekend or destination getaway but a great place to live, I would know, I grew up there. Like any small town, Putnam Lake, NY has its setbacks. It’s difficult to open any business and even harder to keep the doors open. These are some of the long vacant commercial properties of “The Lake.”

Do you like talking about Long Island? The absurd? Pheromones? If so, check out the Ethan, Lou & Large Dave Podcast on Apple and Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the same show we do on the radio but with limited commercials and no music. Or, listen live by streaming the show on the I-95 Rock Mobile app, or tune into I-95 (95.1FM).

Photo: Aurora Photography

The Ethan, Lou & Large Dave Show on The Home of Rock and Roll I-95. Tune in live weekday mornings on 95.1 FM in CT & NY.

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