Furry 300 Pound Connecticut Porch Pirate Makes Off With Amazon Package

This news story covered by CBS in NYC would be the perfect pitch for outdoor home surveillance cameras. A porch in Bristol was the crime scene when homeowner Kristin Levine spotted a 300-pound black with an Amazon package stuck in his mouth.

Levine spotted the furry porch pirate abscond with the package no less than five minutes after it was delivered. She told NBC CT she saw the bear on her outdoor camera and was "taken aback" because she wasn't expecting anyone or anything in her driveway.

Maybe Yogi thought the package was a bundle of berries, not so much. It turned out to be some rolls of toilet paper.

This gives me the opportunity to dive into some black bear fun facts!

1. Black bears are noisy! They can make up to 20 different sounds.
2. They see in color...
3. Don't mess with these critters because they can run up to 30mph.
4. They can climb like a son-of-a-bitch!
5. They are skilled swimmers and they love the water.
6. Their sense of smell is amazing.
7. Females often give birth during hibernation.
8. Males only enjoy socializing when there's bear sex involved.
9. During the late summer and into the fall, black bears enter a period of excessive eating called hyperphagia. During this time, black bears can eat up to 20,000 calories a day to put on enough weight to help them survive the winter without eating or drinking.
10. Their short claws make black bears expert tree climbers.