“If I should ever do a book of my lyrics it should come with a bong, a thesaurus, and a driver-side airbag.”

- David Lee Roth

In celebration of the great David Lee Roth’s birthday today, here is my list of the top ten Diamond Dave song lyrics. Some may lead you to deep thought, some may lead you to ruin, while others may lead you to utter confusion.

  • 10

    "When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

    Van Halen - The Trouble With Never (2012)

    This is the most recent lyric on the list. On Van Halen's 2012 album 'A Different Kind Of Truth' Roth has a different lyrical approach than on the first six classic VH albums. A lot of the songs include some lyrical mind twisters and double entendres. This is one will make you think about not what you've done with your life but what you haven't done with it....yet.

  • 9

    "We came here to entertain you, leaving here we aggravate you, don't you know it means the same to me"

    Van Halen - I'm The One (1978)

    This one sums up David Lee Roth in one line. You gotta love 'em or you gotta hate 'em. There's no in between.

  • 8

    "She ain't waiting 'till she gets older, her feet are making tracks in the winter snows. She got a rainbow that touches her shoulder. She be headed where the thunder rolls"

    Van Halen - Secrets (1982)

    Ballads are not for Dave, those are Sammy Hagar's strong suit. On this song, however, Dave paint's a pretty picture of a very pretty lady who likes to live life to the fullest.

  • 7

    "Yeah, we're all fast breakers comin' out of the gates takin' chances, we're the crash and burn"

    Van Halen - Light Up The Sky (1979)

    These were the first words heard from David Lee on Van Halen's recent summer tour as they opened each set with 'Light Up The Sky'. Nobody lights up the sky more than Van Halen on a summer night.

  • 6

    "Some goes to women, some goes to Jesus, though I'm absolutely certain both's all right. But it takes me at least halfway to the label before I can even make it through the night"

    Van Halen - Take Your Whiskey Home (1980)

    Not sure what this really means but it sure sounds cool when Dave sings it.

  • 5

    "On every wall and place my fearsome name is heard"

    Van Halen - Atomic Punk (1978)

    Dave should see to it that this is put on his gravestone. It really is that bad ass.

  • 4

    "Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue. Got an on-ramp comin' through my bedroom"

    Van Halen - Panama (1984)

    Would I be surprised to find out Dave actually has an on-ramp comin' through his bedroom? Not really.

  • 3

    "See, a gun is real easy in this desperate part of town. Turns you from hunted into hunter, go and hunt somebody down. Wait a minute, somebody said 'Fair Warning! Lord, Lord strike that poor boy down!"

    Van Halen - Mean Street (1981)

    Van Halen's 1981 album 'Fair Warning' is considered the band's best by many fans. It's dark, heavy and filled with attitude. This lyric defines the entire album's sound perfectly.

  • 2

    "I like the way the line runs up the back of those stockings. I've always liked those kind of high heels too. No, no, no, no! Don't take 'em off. Leave 'em on. Yeah, that's it, a little more to the right"

    Van Halen - Everybody Wants Some!! (1980)

    The top two Diamond Dave song lyrics are both off the cuff moments of improv. On this one there was a lovely looking girl hanging out in the studio during the recording of 1980's 'Women & Children First' album. While the tape is rolling Dave has some fashion advice for his lady friend.

  • 1

    "Take a look at this! Hey man, that suit is you. You'll get some leg tonight for sure! Tell us how you do! {Come on Dave, gimme a break}. Hey, hey, hey! One break...comin' up!!"

    Van Halen - Unchained (1981)

    Another moment where Dave takes an opportunity, hits the ground and runs with it. Producer Ted Templeman gets frustrated with his singer to the point where he begs him to give him a break. You know the rest.