Anyone who listens closely to the Ethan and Lou show knows I am a die hard "Stoolie." This is appointment viewing/reading for me everyday. The founder, El Jefe, the creator of Barstool Sports finally came to New Haven, CT to review the world famous pizza and it went something like this:

#1 - "Sally's Apizza Restaurant" - 237 Wooster Street, New Haven, CT

RANK - 9.2 - Anyone who has seen his pizza reviews knows this is a ridiculously high rating, he's a tough critic.

#2 -"Modern Appiza" - 874 State, Street, New Haven, CT

RANK - 7.7 - Never been, but I hear good things.

#3 - "Frank Pepe Pizzeria Napoletana" - 157 Wooster, Street, New Haven, CT

 

RANK - 8.5 - False. Not opinion, but fact that Pepe's is a 9.5. This ranking is hurt by a few things. First, he burns his mouth and wants to penalize Frank Pepe for this. Not Frank's fault that you don't know how to eat a slice of pizza — may God rest his soul. Second, Pepe's rep has taken a hit with pizza traditionalists because of the expansion and branding. Finally, everyone has heard of Pepe's. Even people who are NOT from Connecticut have heard the name. It's a hype situation no pizza joint could live up to. Not since Steve Harvey hastily shouting, "Colombia," have we seen such a disastrous mistake in a pointless exercise. Harvey nearly melted South America and Pres is doing his best to burn New England to the ground with this rating.

#4 - "Bar" - 254 Crown Street, New Haven, CT (Cronk St.)

RANK - 7.4 - I've never been to BAR myself, but my buddy Joey "Big Punisher" Ech tells me the Pres' description is dead on. It's good pizza with a side of fancy ass. By the way, Pres, "Fiji over water bungalow blue?" More of a shimmered steel with a hint of royal.

All in all, well done by Portnoy. Pres, next time you are in CT, come in and do the Ethan and Lou show. Afterwards, we hit the slopes. Little skiing, maybe a few nips. Moguls doing moguls. Lou Milano shoots his shot. And if you love El Pres' pizza reviews, make sure you download the One Bite App while you're searching for i95's mobile version of the 50,000 flame thrower of Rock 'N' Roll.