The Worst Bathrooms You’ve Ever Had To Go ‘No. 2′ In
IT happens. You know what I'm talking about.
I had a hilarious conversation with some of my friends about the worst places that we've ever had to do emergency poopies. When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? Sometimes you don't have the luxury of holding it until you get home to your own throne.
I'll start with mine - Back in 1990, I had to drop it down at the Church's Fried Chicken that was right across the street from Port Authority NYC. Let me tell you something, in 1990, tourist comfort was not at the top of anybody's list. If I had to guess, I'd say that there was at least 2 years of filth in that stall. That was the only moment of my life where I thought, 'My God! Could I go in the sink?' I didn't. I had some class back then. I can also proudly tell you that not an inch of my skin touched anything in that stall.
I went to Facebook and posted the question on my personal page, and got great responses. But, before I get into those, let me say that my intent isn't to shame any particular establishment. I know that public bathrooms can turn super gross due to one person, or, the cleaning person being out for with the flu. My point is that anyone can have a bad, or an off day. Now, with that being said-
The bathroom in the photo above was the clear-cut winner in the worst place voting. That, my friends, is a photo of the toilet at CBGB. It was taken right after the famed NYC club shut it's doors down for good in 2006. My friends Paul, Lisa, and Wendy all picked CBGB as the worst place that they've ever had to drop the deuce. Wendy states 'CBGB's bathrooms were by far the filthiest, most smelly and disgusting bathrooms I have ever encountered'. Paul continued with 'I put my arm on the wall near the bar and a cockroach went up my sleeve'.
Not surprisingly, transit hub, big stadium, and music venue bathrooms were all over the comments. My buddy Jon threw his worst #2 vote to Hogs and Heifers in NYC. Stephen voted for the bathrooms at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park. Alison voted for Newark Airport as her most-dreaded dookie destination. Suzanne describes the toilets at the T stops in Boston as 'Squalid'.
We've all encountered Port-O-Potty disasters at outdoor public events. Cass voted for the outhouses at the Burning Man festival, and even sent me a photo to back up his vote. Let me assure you, I will be haunted by that photo until my dying day. Chris stated that the worst bathrooms he has ever encountered were at any truck stop, 'No matter where, they're all filthy'.
Stephanie represented the Elm City and The Naugatuck Valley with her votes for the worst places that she's ever had to stock the pond with brown trout: Anna Liffey's in New Haven, and Walgreens in Seymour.
Cleanliness is huge, but there are other factors as to why your constitution may have been horrifying. Did you have to hang a rat in a bathroom with no dividers? Paper-thin walls that mask absolutely no wind? I went to a man that I consider a peer in the world of poop. Louis Milano. The Man that introduced me to the use of generous baby wipes, instead of those feeble little dry squares, I owe, and respect him. Lou told me 'The absolute worst place that I ever had to go was Woodstock 99'
Lou continued 'All of the Port-O-Potties were overflowing, as bad as you could imagine from 400,000 drunk people. It was 99 degrees out all week, and there was no mud for the 'mud people' to cover themselves with. So, they started covering themselves with, and swimming in, the rivers that were coming from the toilets. Disgusting.' I agree sir.
How about you? Make us laugh, tell me where was the worst place that you've ever had to lose 2 pounds the easy way?