The Very Real Dangers of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can be a joyous occasion, filled with delicious food and memories made. It's also a holiday loaded with very real dangers that are hiding in plain sight. Everything may look just right but we are all one slip away from a wide array of injuries and violence.

Here are things that could be your undoing at the the family Thanksgiving celebration:

Chokin' on bones - This is a "bone-in" holiday, if you get one lodged in your throat piece, you better get animated and fast to alert folks to the choking. The Thanksgiving table can get loud and it's easy to see how someone who is choking could go unnoticed. If you start choking you should, of course use the universal sign for choking but maybe add some extra flavor and twerk a bit, to ensure you have everyone's attention.

Wine & Knives - It seems as if everyone believes that they need to be in the kitchen on Thanksgiving, at all times. It's a high traffic area, everyone is drinking and for some reason, everyone is holding a knife. It's best to steer clear of the kitchen if you are not essential personnel.

Opinions resulting in violence - Thanksgiving is no time for people to express their opinions on politics or long standing family feuds but it does not stop it from happening, every, single year. If you have an opinion, try and bury it deep down inside yourself and never bring it up. If you hear a terrible opinion, pretend you didn't becuase the giving/receiving and retorting of opinions can easily result in chipped teeth and 911 calls.

Allergic reactions - Potential anaphylactic shock is on the menu come Thanksgiving. You have folks wearing sweaters they might not normally, with materials they are not used to and you have many contributors to the buffet. You are going to want to stick to materials you are used to when constructing your outfit and question the ingredients of every spoonful of food you put near your mouth.

The Double Dare Effect - Thanksgiving is a time for liberal booze consumption. This can lower inhibitions, heightens excitement and can result in bad ideas. This is not a time to take a trip to the basement with the fellas for a bench press competition. You also don't want to try cart-wheels in the living room or wheelies on a ten speed if the weather allows. Physical challenges happen when alcohol is involved but Marc Summers will not be there to regulate so when a challenge is made, you should politely decline, no matter how invincible you feel.

The First Time Fryer - If you have never fried a turkey with success, don't do it on Thanksgiving. If you love hideous, raging infernos that will alter lives forever, than by all means, ignore this advice.

Thanksgiving is one of our most dangerous holidays and it's a time to keep your wits about you. Stay safe out there kids.