Michigan Police are on the scent of a suspect they say is dropping deuces in cars in Warren. He's not just poopin' but poopin' in an extremely specific way. According to ABC 7 Detroit, they say he sneaks into auto repair parking lots, gets in the cars and leaves behind a "foul package."

Law enforcement has plenty of clues to work with, like surveillance footage.

"Twin Tire" and "Friendly Auto" are two of the companies he's "hit" and there is nothing friendly about this. Check out this savage method.

Youtube/ABC 7 - Detroit
Youtube/ABC 7 - Detroit

You can't see much, because this hideous character is blurred out but what we can see is very telling. Look at his feet pointing out away from the car. You'll also notice that he doesn't get in and close the door behind him, this is an act of aggression for sure. He's saying, you deal with this.

They need to cross reference the victimized vehicles. Look at the window sticker on this one, it has one of those stick figure families on it. If I am going to profile this man, I need to know if all of the vehicles have these same window stickers that everyone hates so much. If they all do, in fact have these stickers on them, he should walk.

The "Friendly Auto" owner told ABC 7:

The last thing we would want is customers feeling like this is something we have caused.

That would be bad, I can just see the Yelp reviews now. They might write things like:

  • Friendly Auto, not F----in Friendly
  • Friendly Auto, stinks
  • Friendly Auto is poopy
  • Friendly Auto, leave with a leaky exhaust

Ya know, stuff like that could really impact the bottom line and those are just the ones I made up, just now. Imagine what the internet could do with some serious time and thought.

Hopefully the cops will find this guy before something worse happens. There are small businesses and careers taking a beating here, just ask this guy. He was the field reporter on this story, for ABC 7 in Detroit.

ABC 7 - Detroit
ABC 7 - Detroit

You can see it in his eyes, that is the look of despair.

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