If you have to get your mugshot taken, you are having a bad day. If you have your mugshot taken and happen to be an attractive lady, it could be mean you end up on an Instagram account like @mugshawtys, which likely means you're having a bad decade. I did not create this "shame society," but I do live in it, for better or worse.

Before we get to what is alleged to have taken place to lead to these photos, we need to do a vocabulary lesson for the uninitiated. Here is the definition of a "shorty" or "shawty":

Shawtyshorty, or shortie is an American slang used as a term of endearment for an attractive woman or a girlfriend, that was particularly popular in hip hop from the 2000s. "Shawty" is a Southern derivation of "shorty" and can also refer to someone smaller than you, a newcomer, a child, or a good friend.

Now we can rate the "shawty" mugs. Vote with corresponding numbers:

If you are wondering if I am "proud of myself?" That answer is way more complicated than a simple "yes" or "no."

In the interest of hedging my bets, I can tell you I have had my mugshot taken, and if it was rated, I would get a "Not a Shawty" rating in a clean sweep. That, or whatever the male equivalent of "non-shawty" is.

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