Say, wanna be super thirsty? I got you, just stuff one of these chalk cakes in your mouth. Pop-Tarts have been trying to pass themselves off as a decent snack for decades and getting away with it. This is the most overrated snack in America and everyone buys them.

Here's a conversation you've had before:

Person 1 - "I'm starving."

Person 2 - "We gotta run, just grab a Pop-Tart." 

Person 1 - "I don't want a Pop-Tart! (whiny voice). 

END SCENE

That's it, they are there but not good enough to be thought of first, second or third. They are a last option most of us never choose and yet they are still there. I give the Kellog's folks great credit for fooling America into purchasing billions of there of their dry ass cakes for many years but I'm on a mission to wake the country up to the wasted money. Your days are numbered Pop-Tarts.

Other snacks I'd rather have before resorting to a Pop-Tart:

  • Chips
  • Cookies
  • Pretzels
  • Carrots
  • Celery
  • A shoe
  • 4 day old sausage egg and cheese
  • Goat's milk
  • Cabbage
  • A Melted Charleston Chew

P.S. Don't even start with me, I feel too strong about this to be moved off my position. These tarts are false, they are neither popular or tarts, it's a hard pass for me.