Going to a baseball game seems like a simple task for an adult, but apparently, this is not an activity I am capable of pulling off. Everything seemed in order when my buddy Joey and I departed for the Bronx. It was not.

Turns out, the website Joey used to order the tickets has this amazing thing they do. They send you what looks SO much like a confirmation for your purchase, but it is not. I wanted to be mad at him, but he showed me the "receipt" and it looked A LOT like a receipt. Again, it was not.

Because we were in a rush, we didn't even find out we had no tickets until we got off the train at Yankee Stadium. That's not all we found out when we arrived.

When I went to present the train ticket I purchased to the ticket-taker person, I realized my wallet was gone. That is right, I lost my wallet.

Now, we are in the Bronx, just feet away from the Stadium where our beloved Yankees are, we have no tickets, I have no money, I have no I.D., and we have nowhere to go. We were already there, so there is only one reasonable thing to do, and that is to get to a bar.

First, we thought we would go to Stan's — Yankee fans all know Stan's — it's famous and quite awesome. Well, Stan's looked like a zombie apocalypse. When we got to the front door, we realized we could not see the bar or the floor, just arms and legs as far as the eye can see.

We ended up at the "poor man's Stan's", Billy's Sports Bar, a half a block away. At almost 40-years-old I had to sneak in, you know, cause I had no I.D. We watched the game, had some regrettably fattening food, some laughs, and the Yankees won. It was not terrible, but super wasteful on several levels.

If you are wondering what the Billy's Sports Bar experience is like, let me share with you a Yelp review I found from a woman named Julia from New York, NY.

That about sums it up. I don't hate it as much as her, though. Our waitress was nice, the food was not terrible, the atmosphere was cool in that everyone was there for the game and hyped up. We were able to sit in chairs, which is nice. I can do without the extremely loud dance music that played from inning 1 to inning 3, but at least someone fixed that before a riot broke out.

Lou's phone
Lou's phone

This is the face I make when I am "trying to make the best of it."

Lou's phone
Lou's phone

This is the face Joey makes when he kind of buys tickets and is "making the best of it."

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