Let's be clear, when I say Brewster, I mean Southeast, NY, not the Village of Brewster. If you pay your taxes in Southeast and your zip code is 10509, you can legally own two chickens, right now, on a property of 5 acres or less. You are not allowed to own a rooster.

The Town of Southeast Code on chickens goes like this:

Ch138 Attachment 3 reads:

"The keeping of an aggregate of not more than 2 chickens or similar poultry is permitted on a lot of less than 5 acres." 

Now, things get more complicated after you surpass 5 acres, it means more chickens but you need to read the fine print on how many chickens you can have based on the land you've amassed.

Listen, most people don't know about this. You may have been toying with the idea and I'm telling you it's legal to buy, and own a chicken or two. My dream is for every family of Southeast to purchase two chickens and we turn the entire identity of the town, over to them.

We can have the Annual Southeast Chicken Fair. Everyone brings their chickens, we eat chicken, and there is a largest chicken contest. It will be fun for awhile, eventually the town's infrastructure will buckle under the power of the chickens.

It will be like Planet of the Apes, only with chickens. There will be chicken statues, chicken government and the humans will do the bidding of the chickens. I want Southeast to be inundated with chickens, overwhelmed and riddled with despair because of the chickens.

I want people to look back on this day and say that I was responsible for the great chicken revolution of 2021. They'll say, "it used to be funny but it's not anymore. These damn chickens have taken over. Life used to be so simple." That is what they will say.

P.S. I wrote this for me. I had no real agenda, no bone to pick with anyone, I just laughed the entire time I wrote it. This is like when a rock star from your favorite band puts out a garbage solo album and says they did it for them. Eventually, I'll end up back with the band, on the road playing the classics but I need some time for me.

P.S. 2-  I'm not saying you can't have chickens if you live in the Village of Brewster, I don't know, they have a different municipal code. Go look it up, I've done enough good for one day.

P.S. 3 - Don't even get me started on horses, that's another story.

P.S. 4 - After you buy your two chickens, take a picture of you snuggling them or eating them and send it to us. We'll throw the pictures up on our social media and give you a hearty shout out.

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