Beat The Heat With Snowballs Underwear

The Snowballs Underwear pack will run you about $60 bucks and comes with:

• 2 pair of certified organic cotton boxer-briefs, blended with 5% elastane for the perfect stretch.
• 3 SnowWedges, so you'll always have one available. SnowWedges are ready to go after an hour in your freezer and will keep you cool for at least 30 minutes.
• 1 booklet, A Gentleman's Guide to Cooling, which gives you some background on the science and tips on what guys can do to maximize their fertility.

The revolutionary new underwear is not only for cooling your plums but is advertised as "maximizing fertility." I guess the heat can mess with that so now I'll be tanning my gear all weekend, sans cooling gel packs. Maybe follow that up with standing on a chair in front of the microwave.

Nah, I'm just kidding. They did not need to 'hard sell" me with the fertility thing. They had me right away. Ladies may not be aware but men know that our crotches generate a heat signature comparable to a nuclear power facility so anything that can curb that is a win for the dude ranch.

I always hear that ladies talk about "boob sweat" and the warmth they have going on, up top. Ladies, think of that heat, multiply by 1,000 and add the core of the Earth into the equation and you will have some idea of what our issue is.