5 Reasons We Should All Definitely Panic

Tomorrow, June 18, is "International Panic Day." So what's got me panicking?

1. Extraterrestrial Invasion.

Laugh if you'd like, but there are no known plans to combat an attack from extraterrestrial life. It's all fun and games until they are here, probing around in your rear-end. Here is what the late, great Stephen Hawking had to say on the matter:

Meeting an advanced civilization could be like Native Americans encountering Columbus — that didn’t turn out so well.

2. Self Replicating Nano-Tech (The Grey Goo Scenario).

This is a hypothetical, world killing scenario. In it, molecular nanotechnology self replicates, while consuming all bio mass on Earth. Sound unpleasant? It will be. #killarobot

3. Panic.

That's right, I am saying we should panic over panic. Why does our government keep secrets? They think we can't handle certain news and I'd have to agree with them on that. If the general public were to know how close to death's door we all are on a daily basis, it would lead to panic, religious hysteria, rioting, looting and crime on epic levels.

4. War.

Let me quote the great Ethan Carey of I-95 fame. While talking about Kim Jong Un, he had this to say:

You never know what that fat little, Korean, psycho might do.

If he starts s---, we have to finish it and we go from there. Enough said.

5. O.J. Simpson joined Twitter.

O.J. joined Twitter over the weekend. His reasoning? Take it away O.J.

"I got a little getting even to do." Getting even? Despite his being acquitted, I never love it when an alleged murderer says that.

What has you panicking?