Lou’s Dad’s Day Wish List Includes Only Jack and Chicken Cutlets

I want to wake up, and I want to sit in a chair in the shade and drink Jack Daniel's. I want to be served a gigantic chicken cutlet sandwich on a loaf of Italian Bread.

I want to finish my Jack and my ginormous sandwich, and then take a three and a half hour nap. When I rise from my nap, I want to be served another Jack Daniel's and giant chicken cutlet on Italian bread. When that is done, I want to go to bed for the evening.

WHAT I DON'T WANT:

• A card
• A gift
• To drive anywhere for any reason
• To get together in a large group of any kind
• To get dressed up
• To carry anything
• To listen to anyone's feelings, concerns or problems
• To be asked any questions
• To hear the term "good news, bad news."
• To make anyone any food
• To clean anything
• To have to repeat myself

Above all, it is spelled out as clear as day, in black and white, what I want, and what I don't want. If certain people in my life choose to ignore this, as they always do, they can expect a little more than a bad attitude. Yes, I probably sound like a jerk. But I don't care, because I know that I'll end up dressed up, driving places to meet in a large gathering of people, doing all the things I don't want to do, and absolutely none of the things that I want. Happy Freaking Father's Day.