How to Avoid a Shark Attack

So, everyone is being attacked by sharks. 

According to National Geographic, there have been six shark attacks in North Carolina in the last three weeks. How do you avoid this?

• How bout if you are concerned about this ... DON'T GO IN THE OCEAN. Here's a weird thing about sharks, they live in the ocean and if they are hungry and you are in their home they might eat you. Just saying.

• Don't have blood on you. Open wounds of any kind are going to "F" you up.  For sure. They are attracted to blood because they are predators and predators like wounded things. It's an easier kill.

• You're gonna need a bigger boat.

• Get a bigger boat MAN!  One that the shark cannot run over like a freight train.

• Don't throw chum in the water dude. I once swam in the water after chumming it for shark while we were fishing. I should be dead right now because I am a certified A1 IDIOT.

• Don't sing....DUH DU...DUH DU....DUH DU.......DUH....DU....DUH DU.....they love that song.

• Don't say "Hey sharks, you suck. Come and get me." They hate that.