According to the Department of Energy and Environmental Protection via the News Times, our upcoming forecast includes dangerous ozone levels. This means our air will be not-so-awesome for "sensitive groups," as the News Times put it.

I don't know what that means.

I'm assuming "sensitive groups" refers to people with breathing issues, the elderly, and people with asthma, so they may want to take it easy. I also am not sure what ozone levels are. I know the deteriorating ozone layer is supposed to protect us from harmful rays, and that I shouldn't spend long periods of time spraying TRESemme up into the atomsphere because of it, but that would be the extent of my knowledge on the matter.

I can tell you who is psyched about our ozone layer falling apart, is people who love tanning themselves into walking, charred strips of bacon. Like that tanning lady on YouTube:

Here is what a conversation would go like between that lady and I:

Me - "Hey lady, you got some s--t on your face." 

Tanning Lady - "Where?"

Me - "Your face. All of it."

There you go, folks. Put on your sunscreen this week. I recommend an SPF 4,000 after watching that tanning lady's YouTube video.