Everything You Need For a Weekend ‘Crash Landing’ Party

Tiangong-1 is the space station China lost control of. The Daily Mail says this space station will re-enter the Earth's atmosphere on Easter Sunday at around 11:30am. They don't know where this sucker will hit. Most sources say this is more common than we think and a majority of the craft will burn up during re-entry.

While it's highly unlikely this event will ruin anyone's day it's still possible. This makes it a global event, a terrible global lottery. This, to me, is a great excuse to party. Host yourself a "Crash Landing" party. Here is what you will need:

• Tin foil hats - There is always a chance that alien beings got a hold of this space station while it was out there. I mean that is a genius move. Hop on an Earthling craft lost in space and crash back to Earth. We would never see it coming. If you are a science fiction fan you know that Aliens can read our minds. Wearing a tin foil hat blocks their reception. Better safe than sorry. Aluminum foil is cheap, get some.
• Chips & Dip - Any party that has no chips & dip, is not really party. It's a gathering of angry people that THOUGHT they would be eating chips & dip.
• Booze - Self explanatory
• Disaster movie - Dust off your DVD copy of Armageddon, you are going to need it. You put that on in the background to give the party some visual texture. You gotta mute it but put it on for sure. My wife would strongly disagree with this move. I'm always trying to put something on the TV in the background when we host parties and I get yelled at.
• Chinese flag toilet paper - We would not be in this mess if the Chinese could keep track of their toys. Thanks China.

There you go, that should do it. You won't do any of this though, will you? No. You won't because YOU will be at an Easter Egg Hunt with your kids. I told you the Easter Egg hunt is an excuse for a riot. It's the kickoff to unnecessary violence. It's a disaster waiting to happen. Crying children everywhere you look, parents "protecting" their kids feelings by exchanging blows while a Chinese fire rains from the sky! Happy Easter