When you've got it bad, you just might do almost anything to find that individual you saw in the produce aisle of your hometown Stop N' Shop.

The following are some of my favorite desperate Craigslist Missed Connections in Connecticut:

YOU BROKE MY HEART - I know the chances of you seeing this are minuscule. You hurt me and broke my heart after you said you wouldn't. You made me feel so good and important but it was just a game. Thanks for f*@$ing me over. I hope you're proud of yourself! Don't bother to come crawling back!

C'mon, you didn't see this coming, genius? This person was playing you like a cheap guitar missing a string. Get over it, and learn from your mistakes. Then, move on!

WALMART 1AM SATURDAY NIGHT (1/3/16) - u were tall and thin, u were unloading boxes to stock the shelves, and u asked my mom and i how we liking the new year so far, u were a very nice man, if u think this is u please tell me what color hair i have, hope u see this message.

First of all, take a remedial English and writing course, which might just give you a better shot at landing your romeo. How desperate does one have to be to go fishing for men in the middle of the night at a Walmart?

Wal-Mart Dominates U.S. Retail Economy
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LIQUOR STORE GUY - I'm hoping you call me tonight. After 6. Maybe we can hang out. If not just talk dirty to one another. I want all that. I want the one on one. I want to fulfill your fantasy. If you want me to care more tell me if not we can have fun sex and who wouldn't like that.

Again with the 3rd grade writing skills. You need to decide which direction you want this relationship to go. Are you looking for a "slam, bam, thank-you-ma'am" one-nighter, or more of a long-term, fulfilling relationship? I think the "just talk dirty to one another" phrase answers the question.

Andrew Renneisen
Andrew Renneisen
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All The Best,

Ethan

Listen to Ethan Carey on the Ethan & Lou Show weekdays from 5:30-10AM on 95.1 FM. You can listen online at i95rock.com/listen-live/ or by downloading the radioPup app for your mobile device.

 

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