In case of a nuclear attack, you want to make sure you have an inventory of nutritiously delicious canned meats in your bomb shelter. was kind enough to rate some of the canned meats available to help you stock up your shelter.

1. Canned Luncheon Meat - The salt, my God, the salt! It has a hard to describe color and its consistency goes from a solid, as it slips out of the can, to a plate of gushy delectable goodness. If you're still inclined to buy this mystery meat, Walmart in Danbury has it cheap for only $2.

2. Vienna Sausages - Not bad. According to the taste testers at, these sausages taste like cold hot dogs. They described them as tasting like, a lukewarm dirty water hot dog. You can buy a six pack of these little Armour Vienna Sausages for only $12.87 on

3. Roast Beef Hash - Looks like dog food and tastes like dog food. The taste testers at Thrillest said that if you fry the crap out of it, it's almost passable. Get your Keystone brand Roast Beef Hash at for only $10.87 for a 28 oz. can.

4. Chicken Spread - Let me ask, do we really need a spread that tastes like chicken? Thrillest guinea pigs said that it has a "pleasantly tangy taste." They also said it had a "chicken noodle soup concentrate" taste, but it did have a velvety smoothness to it. There are tons of spreads you can slather on a cracker, so I'll stick to my chunky peanut butter.

5. Spam - It's un-American to occupy a fallout shelter without at least one case of this legendary canned stuff. What's in Spam? You don't need to know because if you ate Spam all the time, you might die early. Spam has 27g of fat, 10g of saturated fat, along with 70mg of cholesterol and 1,369mg of sodium. You can purchase a 7oz can of this death in a can Spam for $2.77 at Shoprite in Brookfield. Happy 70th birthday Spam!

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Now, my friends, you're nutritiously prepared to enter you're fallout shelter, but you'll need to either buy a shelter or build one yourself. Make sure your credit is up to snuff because a bomb/fallout shelter runs between $6,000 to $500,000.

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