Bert Kreischer Talks Segura, Will Smith and Delta Burke With I-95

Comedian Bert Kreischer is coming to Connecticut to perform at the Mohegan Sun Arena on Friday, April 26th. Ahead of this monster date, Bert checked in on the Monday (4/22/24) edition of the I-95 Morning Show with Ethan, Lou & Large Dave.

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Lou: He's out on the "Tops Off World Tour", do you do the whole casino experience, when you come to Mohegan Sun are you gambling after the show?

Bert: "Gambling, strip clubs, you name it."

Lou: Nice, so you lose your check before you leave the casino?

Bert: "No, I'm not like Bruno Mars, I like to take like $1,000 out and then go to tables where you see women that are clutching their purses and then give them a hundred bucks and tell them to bet recklessly for me."

Lou: OK, so you're not hanging with Dana White and spending a million dollars at a table?

Bert: "Oh no, no, no not even remotely. We did a big blackjack tournament in Vegas to release our vodka, me and Tommy, everyone showed up Jason Kelce, Baker Mayfield, Bussin' with the Boys, Anthony Pettis and all these legends showed up. Tommy is like, alright let's get out $50,000 markers. In my head I was like, I can't lose $50,000, I don't want to lose $50,000. he goes you're not gonna lose it. I took out a $50,000 marker and I was betting $100 per bet, that was it $100 bets and I lost $1,000 and I go that's it, I'm out! I didn't even spend $49,000 of that marker." 

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Lou: When you say Tommy, Dave and I know you're talking about Tom Segura, you guys have the podcast Two Bears, One Cave, you're really close friends. Talk about that relationship if you can because you can see through a Hollywood friendship but you two are for-real friends. 

Bert: "Yeah, like chit-chat gossip on the phone friends. We met like 22 years ago, 20 years ago. It was funny, we met with this comedian, there is another comedian Jay Mohr and I was opening for Jay and Tom was going to be the host. I walked into the green room, Tom was watching a Florida State game and I said hey, I went to Florida State and Tom says, that's my favorite team. I was like cool, he was like I have a hundred bucks on this game, I was like awesome and Jay Mohr walks in and goes why are we watching this? I go Tom's got a hundred bucks on this game. Jay goes, you're a host, you make $50 a show and you have $100 on a game? He goes, you're an idiot and he walked out, I look at Tom and go hey man welcome to the tour." 

Lou: I've been looking for this clip for a couple of days, since I knew you were coming on and I can't find it. We are fans for sure but I'm not constantly tuned into the podcast but I know it came up between you or Tom, or both. The comedian Ari Shaffir, does he have a weird butthole? 

Bert: "Oh my God, it's like fissured and protruding and prolapsed, it's aggressive. By the way, I don't know why he doesn't go to a doctor? He has to shove a cork full of toilet paper up there after he has to go to the bathroom so it's stops bleeding. This is all stuff he would share with you, he's shared it everywhere. It is bad and my brother-in-law just had an anal fissure and these things are no joke. It is apparently one of the most painful things you could ever deal with and Ari has been casually dealing with it for about nine years."

You can listen to the entire Bert Kreischer interview below.

Part 1 - The tail end of Part 1 includes more information on Ari Shaffir's demented butthole. 

Check out the Ethan, Lou & Large Dave Podcast on Apple and Spotify

Part 2 - We learn that Bert was the inspiration for the movie Van Wilder and he was discovered by Will Smith. We asked if Bert has any insight into Will Smith's current reality. Finally, we informed Bert that Delta Burke of "Designing Women" fame recently revealed she used to do meth to manage her weight. 

Get your tickets now to see Bert Kreischer at Mohegan Sun on Friday, Arpil 26th, 2024